Defeating Thought Tornados!

Defeating Thought Tornados!

Defeating Thought Tornadoes!

My daughter and her family live in Oklahoma where they have tornados. When I watch the news and see the horrific photos of places hit by tornados. I can’t believe the amount of damage they cause!  Frequently, tornados pick up trees, cars, farm machinery, animals, dirt, wood, bricks, furniture and garbage. They pickup just about anything in their path.  Since what goes up, must come down, the debris field where all of this stuff comes down is typically widespread.

Perhaps you have experienced or seen what the landscape looks like after a tornado has moved through?  The damage done to people and houses from all that flying debris is unimaginable.

Swirling Vortex Of Thought Fragments

You may remember that I described “thought tornados” as repetitive, unresolved thoughts on repeat. Similar to the circling winds of a tornado, our thoughts swirl around and around in our minds. These thoughts also leave debris in their path.  

The debris from thought tornados includes physical debris like sleepless nights and exhaustion.  Additionally, there are also mental debris such as difficulty making decisions, or not enjoying the present moment. These continued thoughts may even lead to anxiety or feelings of depression because we feel stuck and can’t see a way out. See a previous blog post titled: Are You In A Swirling Thought Tornado?

Mixed-Faith Thought Tornados

For women in mixed-faith families, these thought tornados may look like an unhealthy focus on what might happen to your family in the next life, or worrying about attending church on your own.  The debris field might be your relationship with your unbelieving spouse or child.

There are 3 general steps for stopping these run-away thought tornados: 

  1. Recognizing when we are experiencing a thought tornado.
  2. Seeing the damage these thoughts are creating.  
  3. Realizing that we are creating these thoughts, and we can STOP them. 

Sometimes it can be SUPER difficult to defeat the swirling thoughts, and these 3 steps are a lot easier said than done…

If you are interested in learning more about deflating your thought tornados, and the difference this can make in your life, click the button below and schedule a time for us just to talk.

Are You In A Swirling Thought Tornado?

Swirling Thought Tornado

Some of you reading this email may be in the middle of your spouse’s or child’s faith crisis or transition.  Something has caused them to have questions or doubts about LDS church doctrine, practices, history or perhaps even God. 

They may have been struggling to find answers to their questions for a while –  even before they admitted these doubts to themselves. 

Perhaps you are just now finding out about these issues your spouse or child has been wrestling with for months or even years?  

You are trying to understand how this person you love is seriously doubting the gospel that you have such faith in?

Your mind instantly goes to fear, panic and perhaps anger:

  • How could this happen?
  • WHY would they do this?
  • How can I get them back to the truth?
  • How could they do this to our eternal family? 
  • What will others think about our family now?
  • How will their questions affect my own faith and testimony?

Most likely, during your spouse or child’s search for answers to their gospel related questions, they have found few if any people to actually speak with about their thoughts.  

Now you are thrust into their faith journey.  How will you find answers to your fears and questions?

Who can YOU talk with?  Who can relate to your swirl of thoughts?  Heavenly Father?  A friend at church?  Your brother or sister?  Your Bishop?  Your Ministering Brothers/Sisters?  If these resources are able to assist you, that is wonderful!

I didn’t know who I could talk with nearly 6 years ago when my husband finally admitted to himself and to me that he had lost his faith in God.  After 8+ years of my husband struggling to find answers to his faith questions.  His faith was gone…

Around the same time, but for different reasons, 2 of our daughters also stepped away from the church.

I tried to speak with a few family members and friends to work through my thoughts.  Unfortunately, they could not really relate to what I was experiencing, and they had their own thoughts about my situation. They could not help me sort through what I have come to call my “thought tornado”. Thoughts swirling around and around.

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I have experienced all of these feelings as a believing spouse and mother, and I have spoken with numerous people about their experience with a spouse or child in faith transition – and beyond. 

I would love to give you answers to all of your questions, and “make it all better”, but unfortunately no such formula exists.

Each couple and family situation has characteristics that require different approaches.  There are similar issues, but personality, history, relationships, communication styles and timing all factor into choosing options for successfully moving through these emotion-filled situations.

My goal as a life coach is to provide support for LDS women that want to remain faithful to the gospel of Jesus Christ, even when their husband or child loses faith and chooses to walk a different path.  If this is you, I would truly like to assist you in this journey.

I wish I could drop by as a friend, so we could just talk, but since that is not really feasible, could I offer to meet with you face to face on Zoom?   

I invite you to set up a FREE 30 minute appointment.  No obligation, No hard selling sales pitch.  This is simply a time for you to share whatever is on your mind with someone that understands.  If you find our time helpful, we can consider further discussions.