4 Tips For Feeling Useful in Your Empty Nest

Grandma Camp

Last week I sat down to write you all a letter. This is not my favorite or easiest task. I am always semi-paralyzed because I am wondering what to write and if what I have to say has any value to anyone.

Do you ever find that happening to you?  Do you wonder if what you have to offer every day is valuable to anyone?

I think these are normal and natural thoughts at any age, but they become more common as our kids leave home and begin families of their own.  Or we may be looking at retiring from the work that gave our days structure – either paid work or the work in our own homes of raising a family.  What can you do if you wake up every day to the voice in your head telling you that you have nothing left to offer anyone anymore?

Here are some things that have helped me keep going even when I feel paralyzed:

1) Ignore the voice in your head – You know the voice I am talking about, the one that is telling you that you can’t do anything.  Accept that this voice is going to be there and just keep on going.  I like to tell that voice, “Yes, I can do it!  You are not the boss of me. I AM!” 

2) Find something that makes your time meaningful to you – Much of the volunteer work that I’ve been doing has been shut down with the COVID-19 virus.
I had to think about what I can do, and not what I’ve lost. 

I’ve filled in some of that time with a weekly “Grandma Camp” for my two oldest granddaughters and four nieces. We meet on ZOOM and talk about things that I wish I had known when I was that age, confidence, friends, how to talk to adults like teachers, how to talk to your parents when you want something they don’t want you to have or do, how to plan your time, how to create and achieve goals, knowing your future self. We’ve had speakers come, played games, done an art project and really enjoyed being with each other. I’ve looked forward to this camp every week. See the photo at the top of this post.

Activities “Meaningful to you” could include providing service to others, sharing cookies or flowers, developing new skills, or simply brightening someone’s day by calling them and letting them know you are thinking of them.

3) Know who you are – I have been creating I AM statements for myself that create a belief in things that I want to do. I’ve chosen what I want to believe about myself and I practice these beliefs, and I do the things I feel led to do.

For example, one of the things I am practicing is that “I Am guided” and the more I practice it, the more I feel guided.  When I feel that I am guided, I start following up on those little fleeting thoughts that go through your head like, “maybe I should help her” or  “wow, I should share some of my sweet peas with my neighbor” or “that’s a great analogy for my newsletter”.

4) Celebrate – When you make a celebration of any kind, from a fist pump, to a happy dance, to something more, you are telling yourself that you did it right, you did good!  Your body releases a hormone, dopamine, and you want to keep on going.

So, if there are days when you feel like you are of no use, remember this email and try out one of these tips to help you get going again and feel like there is a purpose for getting up in the morning.

If you would like to do a little more accelerated work on rediscovering your purpose with personal coaching, I have 1 more spot left in my $99 program:

Finding Faith, Family and Yourself in the Empty Nest Season of Life

Click on the above link and sign up to get started.  When this last spot is gone, the price will be increased to $149. 
This is a great way to see how life coaching works for you.

FREE Mini-Class For You

"I Am"Statements

Hooray, it’s August and a whole new month!  It seems like time has both flown by and crept by at the same time…

I’ve been working on a FREE Mini-Class that I wanted to share with you today.  The Mini-Class is called:

“Discover The Power Of “I Am” Statements To Change Your Life For The Better”

​“I Am” statements are phrases that we choose to describe who we are and what we want to be in the future.  I learned about “I Am” statements when a friend of mine suggested that I listen to a sermon by Pastor Joel Osteen.  I loved what I heard. He said that the “I Am’s” coming out of your mouth will bring success or failure, and what follows the “I Am” will come looking for you. 

I started paying attention to how I was describing myself and I didn’t like the future that I saw based on what I was saying about ME.  I realized that I had 100% control over what I believe about myself and started playing with some phrases that I thought would create the ME I want to be. Over a few weeks I played with the phrases and fine-tuned them.  Pretty soon I had a set of core statements.

The most exciting discovery that I made when I started practicing the “I Am” statements was that a regular system of practice made these new beliefs almost automatic. And even better, I discovered that Pastor Joel Osteen was right, what follows “I Am” did come looking for me. Practicing “I am beautiful” gave me the courage to let my hair go gray during the shutdown. I am excited to see the progress I’ve made in growing out the silver sparkle in my hair, and I think it’s beautiful. 

I’ve shared this Mini-Class with several friends and they each said that creating and practicing their very own “I Am” statements was AMAZING! 

I am very excited for you to download this FREE Mini-Class, print it out and try it for yourself.
Create some “I Am’s” that “will come looking for you” and I know you will be glad that you did.