Life Lessons From Cataract Surgery

Distorted view

Life Lessons From Cataract Surgery

Earlier this week, I had cataract surgery to remove a blurry cataract and replace it with a new lens that has greatly improved my vision.

Typically, if there are cataracts in both eyes, they do one eye at a time with a week or so in between the procedures.

I am in between surgeries this week and have one eye with a new lens and one eye with a blurry cataract. 

The experience has been very “eye-opening”!  (pun intended) 

What a difference!!

When I put my hand over my eye with the blurry cataract and look through my new lens, everything is perfectly in focus, and bright. The whites are amazingly white!

When I put my hand over the repaired eye and look out of the eye with the bad cataract, things are a little fuzzy, a little dirty, dull and dingy looking. 

I am so astonished that I’ve been playing this game of covering my eyes over and over. It is hard to believe believe the difference! I didn’t know how poor and distorted my vision had become.  Surgery gave me new clarity that I didn’t even know I had lost.

Other Distortions

Through this experience I’ve realized that I often have unclear and distorted views in other areas of my life. For example, when my family members left their LDS faith and I decided that I still wanted to remain a faithful member of the church, I started “seeing” differently. 

Some things were a clear improvement, like learning to really love others even when they believe in the gospel differently than I do.

At the same time, other things were not an improvement and even became distorted.
Things related to the church like: 

  • Where do I fit in the church community now that my husband doesn’t attend?
  • How do I participate at church in a way that works for me and my family? 
  • What does home centered worship mean when I am the only member at home? 

Do Any Of These Questions Sound Familiar To You?

Unfortunately, not everything I tried to address these questions was helpful for me, my faith or my family. 

The unbelievable thing was that, because of the hurt and pain I experienced during that time of my life, I couldn’t see the distortions.  Like failing cataracts, these experiences discolored everything.

One of the things that helped me replace my distorted “thinking cataracts” with clearer thoughts was the process of learning to talk with God and get clear answers to my prayers.  I started to recognize the thoughts and feelings that were helping me and the ones that were hurting me. Combining “thought work & revelation” helped my vision to clear up – a LOTRevelation and Prayer Journaling is another practice that has helped me.

Let Me Help You Clear Up Your Distortions

If you are or have experienced these types of thought distortions due to members of your family leaving the LDS faith, or other life events, I can help you clear up some of the distortions and regain clarity.

Limited Time Offer

With the end of summer and the start of a new school year, September is often a time for new beginnings and routines, so I am offering an “End of Summer Clarity” coaching special to help you see some of your critical life experiences more clearly.

For the next 2 weeks I am offering a limited number of 3 session coaching packages for $375 only $249. For those of you who are NOT struggling with fitting into your faith community, take advantage of this great sale to talk about what YOU are struggling with. 

Why wait?  Sign up today and start seeing some distorted thoughts with new clarity.

I would love to help you clear up some thought distortions that may have crept into your life. 

Dealing With Emotions At Church: Insights From A Mixed-Faith Family

Dealing With Emotions At Church: Insights From A Mixed-Faith Family

Dealing With Emotions At Church: Insights From A Mixed-Faith Family

A few weeks ago I wrote about 5 Ways The Church Can Support My Mixed-Faith Family, and I got an email back from my friend Tina with an additional suggestion. She said;

“If I were going to add anything to your list, it would be to be patient with me. 

When I am at church and see the brochure family held up as the goal, it is hard for me, and I might react poorly while I try to sort out my emotions about my own family’s reality.

I have a lot of emotions at church, and many of them are difficult to deal with.”

Particularly Hard Things To Hear

Last week was a fifth Sunday meeting and our Ward had a lesson about the Ward Mission Plan. As I listened to the description of how we can support new and returning members, I was suddenly overcome with strong emotions about my family members.

There was a moment of panic when I thought I might burst into tears. Should leave or say something or do nothing?

I made it through the meeting, but started crying on the way to my car and needed a few minutes of quiet journaling before I could go home. I thought about writing a letter to the Ward Mission Leader sharing a different perspective, but eventually decided not to.

These experiences are a part of the mixed-faith family journey. Even when you are the one who has chosen to stay faithful to the church, there can be good people at church who say things that hurt. 

When dealing with emotions at church, I don’t have a good formula for this experience – except to say that my friend Tina had it right. We all have to be patient with each other.  If you find yourself dealing with strong emotions at church and need some support, I can help you sort through these feelings. Even when you find yourself in a your mixed-faith marriage or family. I understand the pain and I can help you work through it . Let’s find the solution for you . Let’s talk