“We take captive every thought”

Our state is slowly, s-l-o-w-l-y re-opening after the COVID-19 Stay Home – Stay Safe order. As a matter of fact we are still a mostly closed state. During my morning walk this morning at 7 AM, not a soul was in sight. During this time of year, people are usually walking their dogs, the kids are still in school, buses and cars would have kept the walk noisy. Instead I stood in the middle of a four-way stop and took photos of empty streets all four ways.  See above photo. Things are not back to normal yet… 

As we creep back to “normal” life again (whatever that means for our future) I have discovered that cynicism has crept into my life. Not just occasionally, but almost everything that comes out of my mouth sounds cynical. Cynical is not a word that I would have ever used to describe myself. But somehow seeing things through cynical eyes has crept into my life. 

Thought like:
“Nobody cares”
“You can’t trust the news”
“Our employer doesn’t care about their employees”
“Don’t trust anyone in government”

However this is NOT who I am!  

I am in a book club and we are learning to take our thoughts captive. That means that I am responsible for my own negative, hurtful and harmful thoughts, and I want to STOP them and replace them.  

Recently, I have discovered an antidote for cynical thoughts.  I take a daily “mental health” walk. (Insert cynical thought about my walk not helping my physical body.)  I frequently set an intention for my walk, something positive for me to think about or focus on.  Recently it was suggested that I use my walk to bless those around me.  

I started by blessing and giving thanks for every part of  my body:

• I blessed my knees for carrying me on the walk
• I blessed my hips for not hurting
• I blessed my eyes for seeing the beauty around me
• I blessed my ears for hearing birds

Then I started on the things around me:

• I blessed the sidewalks for giving me a smooth path to walk on.
• I blessed the people walking their dogs and their cheerful greetings.
• I blessed those who picked up after their dogs and those who didn’t.
• I blessed the people driving their cars.
• I blessed the beautiful flowers who are filling the measure of their creation just by growing and being beautiful.

It went on and on, and just when I thought I would run out of things to bless, I would look around and see something else that I had never paid any attention to, and now I was able to bless it just for being.

How about you? Have you noticed that your thoughts are more cynical than before the shut down? Try a “blessing walk”. My mood is so much more positive after one of these walks!  

I am a life coach that helps women whose children have left home to re-discover who they are and where they fit in, now that they are not full time moms.

I have an introductory coaching program called:

“Finding Faith, Family And Yourself In The Empty Nest Season of Life”

For a limited time this program is available to the first 6 people for just $97.
I have 5 spots left at this price and then the program will increase to $197.

If you want to learn a little more about yourself – to see who you are, what you need and what you want – with new eyes, please checkout my >>> Program.  

I think you will be truly amazed at what you will discover.  If you have ever thought to yourself there has to be more to life than this – there is, and I can help you discover what it is for you. 

“For those who have eyes to see, let them see, and for those who have ears to hear, let them hear”

Everyday in my prayers, I ask for eyes to see and ears to hear the lessons that God has for me. Sometimes we are all guilty of only seeing and hearing what we have trained ourselves to see and hear, those things that re-enforce what we already believe.

It takes effort and humility to see those things that we might overlook but have been in front of us all along.  For me, I find that I don’t see or celebrate my successes.  If I set a goal and reach it, then I tell myself that it wasn’t enough or I don’t deserve to celebrate it because the goal either wasn’t high enough or I didn’t do enough to reach it.

This has been an ongoing problem for me because I always feel like I am reaching, reaching, reaching and never getting there. I frequently feel like nothing I do is ever good enough, and I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders.  It colors how I see my world. Everything might be going perfectly fine, but I only have eyes to see the things that are wrong.

I’ve been working on changing that and I am practicing admitting to myself and others every time I have a little success.  I am trying to celebrate those successes simply by recognizing that they happened.  I am keeping count of them and trying to revisit them regularly.  I even have a section in my daily planner/journal to write down what I did right today.

This little effort is really changing how I experience the world.  I simply try to notice all the things that are going right rather than those things that don’t quite measure up.  During this quarantine time, this is a good skill to practice because the news is telling us exactly the opposite.  We see and hear only the dark side of the pandemic day in and day out.  Amid all this noise it can be really hard to hear and see what is going right in my life.

On my walk today I noticed all the beautiful flowers blooming. This is easy for me see because I have spent my whole life searching for beautiful flowers in nature.  They make me feel happy and I celebrate each find.  It’s harder for me to use that same skill to acknowledge that what I am doing is good enough to celebrate, but it’s worth it because I am worth celebrating.

Do you ever find it hard to celebrate the good things you do? Take a minute and open your eyes and your ears to see the beauty you have within you. 

I am a life coach who helps women whose children have left home to re-discover who they are and where they fit in, now that their kids have left home.

I have an introductory coaching program called:

    “Finding Faith, Family And Yourself In The Empty Nest Season of Life”

For a limited time this program is available to the first 6 people for $97.
After the first 6 people signup, the program will be $197.

If you want to learn a little more about yourself –  to see who you are, what you need and what you want – with new eyes, click Introductory Coaching Program to learn more about the program.  If you ever think that there has to be more to life than this, there is and I can help you discover what it is for you. 

Have you ever noticed that sometimes we believe things that aren’t true?

Sometimes we even believe things that are a BIG LIE.

If I walked up to you and told you how beautiful you are today, you would probably not agree with me. You would probably start pointing out all the ways that isn’t true. 

Last year for Mother’s Day I bought a bunch of socks for the mothers in my life, and I kept a pair for me.  My socks say “I Am Beautiful” right on the toes and on the soles of the feet.  I see them when I put them on and when I am walking around.

At first I thought they were a little dumb, but then after a while I looked forward to putting them on and I started repeating out loud, “I am beautiful today”. Then I started announcing that I was wearing my “Beautiful” socks that day. After that I started thinking about how it is true that I am beautiful, and how grateful I am for my beautiful body and mind.

I never consciously decided that I wasn’t beautiful or that parts of me are ugly or that my body wasn’t good enough because it’s broken.  It was something that just snuck up on me.  Every time I would walk by a mirror and catch a glimpse of myself I would grimace and wish something was different.  Over time I trained my brain to believe that I wasn’t beautiful by repeating negative thoughts to myself day after day for years and years.

It was was not true!  In fact it was a BIG LIE!

For the past few months I have been practicing “I AM” statements – and they really work!   One of the nicest things about being a life coach is that I am my own best customer.  As an empty nester myself, while I have been developing my coaching program about “Discovering Who You Are In Your Empty Nest“, I try everything out on me first.  If it works for me, then I want to share it with you.  This has been an amazing exercise for me and I realized how often I said things about myself that I didn’t want to believe and that weren’t even true.  I’ve really worked hard at catching myself when I start talking negatively in my mind about myself.

Think about how you would finish the below sentence:

I am _____________________________.

What would you write on the line?  Is is true?
Is it what you want to believe about yourself?

For the next few days, notice how often you say “I am” and see if what follows is what you want?   
Are these the thoughts you want to create for yourself?

Be Beautiful!