Shortly after I wrote about life having ups and downs – that it is 50% positive, 50% negative, I had someone ask me what happens when life is 90% negative.  I told her that that didn’t sound like much fun and we used the self coaching model to look at what her brain was telling her.  This person experiences depression, a medical condition that no amount of positive thinking can cure.  The thing that we noticed is that the thoughts that she was thinking continually reinforced her negative world view. When bad things happened to her, her thoughts were “yep, this is just how my life is – nothing good ever happens to me”. She didn’t notice anything good that happened to her even when I pointed out a couple of things.  Many people suffer from depression and I don’t want to minimize how hard that is or that it needs to be medically treated.  I just want to offer that sometime re-programming our thoughts can  lead to not adding our own suffering on top of the depression.

Someone who can’t see anything positive in their life is not going to get a new thought and go from being depressed to happy, our brain can’t bridge a gap that wide, this is where we can use baby steps. 

For instance, the thought “nothing good ever happens to me” cannot become “my life is so amazing”.

But you can try on a baby step thought like, “it’s possible that there are good things in my life – can I name one or 2?

Or, I didn’t feel awful all day today, there were those few minutes when I felt OK, then make a mental note what you were thinking. Try to think those thoughts again. 

You might also notice when the negative thoughts come and stop them.  I have had luck with saying in my head, “Stop, stop, stop – I don’t think like that anymore.”  You need to plant flowers when you pull out weeds, you don’t want to leave a thought void that your brain will want to fill with negative thoughts again.

Sometimes refusing to reinforce the negative thoughts your brain is offering might make you feel a little better.

Do you think trying some baby step thoughts would help you? If you can’t think of any baby step thoughts, I might be able to help you come up with some. Reach out, I would love to talk to you. 

Life isn’t wonderful all the time…

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This has been an amazing month for me – I’ve reached some milestones. 

• I weigh less than my husband
• I have gone from being obese to being overweight on the BMI scale
• I am halfway to my weight loss goal 

I am excited – and celebrating! I chose a “halfway done reward” when I started losing weight and I am going to make an appointment with my dermatologist to have the age spots removed from my hands and face.  That is going to be FUN!

For the record my, 75% done reward is something sparkly and my 100% done reward includes travel to somewhere sunny and warm. 

I am also leveling up my weight loss – everyday I ask myself,  What went right? What went wrong? What course corrections do I need to take to continue? My current thought is that “I am responsible for everything that goes into my mouth – is this bite going to be worth it?  I am surprised at how often the answer is “NO”, sometimes the answer is “yes” but more often than not, I am not willing to sacrifice my progress to a bite or two of food. 

I am sad to see the end of summer, but I love Autumn, leaves, pumpkins, apples and the smell of cinnamon, so I am ready to watch the seasons change.  The sunflowers in the garden have gotten taller that I dreamed possible.  I purchased the “shorter” varieties and expected my tallest plants to be less than 10 feet tall.  Imagine my surprise this year when those sunflowers just took off.  They grew and grew.  I took a measuring tape outside to measure them because they are eye level with my 2^nd story bedroom window, just touching the rain gutters on my roof.  They are almost 16’ tall.  I love waking up to sunflowers peaking in my windows.  I grew them from seed and started them indoors, so I tucked them in every little corner of the garden. 

Sunflowers have really sturdy stalks because they get so tall, but this year we noticed that several of them were “leaning”.  My husband, always the handyman, bought some 6 foot tall stakes and we zip tied the stalks to the wooden support, but the flowers kept on growing.  He next bought some 8 foot tall stakes and attached them to the shorter 6’ stakes.  Our sunflowers have been tall and strong.  Last Friday night Western Washington, had a surprise storm with torrential rain, lightning and wind.  I thought that when I woke up Saturday morning the sunflowers would be bent and broken.  Imagine my delight when I saw them peeking in my bedroom window Saturday morning.  I ran outside to take a look and all the sunflowers were standing strong and tall and blooming like crazy.

Sometimes we are like sunflowers, growing tall and strong, but needing a little support to get us through a storm.  That’s where a life coach can help someone who is doing great and blooming beautifully, but needs a little extra support during periods of huge growth or a sudden storm.  I help women who’s children have left home figure out what they want in their future, if you’re going through a sudden storm, or just need a little support to lean on, I can help you.  Send me a message or give me a call and we will schedule a meeting.  I would love to help. 

I am Jennifer with JennieB Coaching and I help food, flowers and people grow.