How NOT To Read Your Spouse’s Mind
Several weeks ago, I bought a workbook called, “Heavenly Parents: A Couple’s Guide to Creating a More Divine Marriage“. It is a collection of articles by several popular therapists. (More info to come on this.)
Even though my husband doesn’t participate in my faith anymore, the marriage we’ve created together has always been based on principles that we learned from church. Additionally, we both usually enjoy taking marriage courses together.
After I bought the workbook, I looked through it and liked the 12 principles, one for each month. However I also thought there were too many General Authority quotes and that my husband probably wouldn’t like it.
So I didn’t show it to him…
I read his mind and decided for him that it wasn’t something he would be interested in because it was “too churchy”.
A week later, he found the chapter that I had printed and asked about it.
It turns out that he loves the principles and thinks that he is perfectly capable of overlooking the quotes that I thought he wouldn’t like. He recognized the principles that we both support in marriage and was excited about completing the workbook together. Almost a total miss on my part! Hence, my blog title, “How NOT To Read Your Spouse’s Mind“.
This kind of mind reading and then editing information is something that we all do in marriage. In a mixed-faith marriage, assuming we know what our no-longer believing spouse is thinking, can result in missed opportunities. In this case, I would have missed out on conversations with my husband that bring more of the unity and closeness that we both want in our marriage. Unity and closeness are always something we discuss in our marriage.
Lesson learned (again) – DON’T “assume”, simply ASK!