Love / Hate Relationship With December?
The Christmas season is here. Are you looking forward to it with anticipation or dread? Do you have a love / hate relationship with December?
For many years, I had a love/hate relationship with December and the whole Christmas season. This was especially true after some members of my family left the church. I started to wonder if all of my efforts to help my family love Christmas would ever work out. You know, the reason for the season, which is the love of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Was I the reason that some of my children and spouse no longer even believe that there is a Savior?
Many of us mothers are particularly sensitive and vulnerable during the Christmas season. As self-described “Christmas magic makers”, we feel responsible for making this the best time of the year for everyone we love.
What went wrong?
As a matter of fact, many of my “natural woman” tendencies can be particularly active during this time of the year:
My “Inner Judge” likes to point out all the ways that I am falling short during December. Someone who has it all together would have taken family photos. Written personal Christmas cards to friends. Planned exciting activities. Gone shopping to buy the perfect personal gifts for everyone on her list. Most important of all – managed to bring the “true spirit” into her home everyday in December.
Other characters in my mind…
The “Controlling” part of my personality is screaming that if everyone would just follow MY plan the holiday would be perfect!
My personal “Stickler”, the one who loves all the rules and keeps track of all the things I “should” be doing, and letting me know where I fall short.
My inner “Victim” feels so sorry for herself – everyone else has a perfectly behaved family. Poor, poor me, I have to make do with what I have instead of the perfect life everyone else I know has.
And finally, the “People Pleaser” in me tries to keep everyone happy all the time. Even though this is an impossible task, we think I can do. If anyone is less than happy, I failed indeed. I wrote about the “People Pleaser” in a previous blog post.
What else would we expect?
Is it any wonder that I had a love/hate relationship with Christmas?
Perhaps this sounds familiar to you??
Somewhere over the past few years I have discovered the spiritual gift of COMPASSION. This gift, is the gift of empathy and the desire to relieve my own and others’ suffering. This gift has allowed me to quiet those inner voices and approach the Christmas season with joy and anticipation. I’m happy to report that those inner critical voices are so quiet now that I can barely hear them.
With this gift, I am changed. I am currently looking forward to the holiday with love and anticipation.
How about you?
If you are dreading the Christmas season, I invite you to schedule an time to let me coach you early in December.
You know who you are…
I would love for your December to have more love and compassion and fewer critical inner voices. Schedule 50 minutes with me and we will identify your inner critical voices. We can talk about how to quiet them so you can feel the love and peace you desire.
Perhaps your Christmas season is already perfect and you have a friend that could benefit from some help with those above inner voices? If you know someone that could use a dose of self-compassion this time of year, please share this gift with them.
This is simply a gift I am sharing. You can be confident knowing there is NO cost, NO pressure, and NO sales pitch. Simple coaching to help you make your Christmas season merrier and brighter than ever. Click the link below.