Last Sunday morning I was sitting in my backyard with a notebook, writing and thinking. I heard a commotion and looked over to see two squirrels chasing each other across the fence and then up into the big cedar in my backyard. After a few minutes one squirrel came out from the cedar and jumped to a branch, quickly climbed up the branch and jumped to another tree. He kept doing this until he was finally far away and out of sight.
A few minutes later, another squirrel poked her head out of the cedar, she went slowly out from the cedar branches, and then darted back in. A few minutes later she did the same thing. Then she finally went out on the branch and jumped to the next tree, climbed up, paused and then ran right back to the safety of the cedar. I didn’t see her again.
I enjoyed watching the squirrels play and I told myself a story about the first squirrel being brave and adventurous, and the second squirrel being tentative and fearful.
A couple of days later I told my story to my family with all the things that I imagined that the squirrels said and thought. We all laughed at my characterization of the brave boy squirrel and the timid girl squirrel. Then we each came up with a story based on the facts of two squirrels running across the fence, into the cedar tree. One squirrel continued to climb and the other one kept to the safety of the cedar tree. We told great stories, with great morals, like be careful who you follow, and have courage to do your own thing. I also told a story about the difference between girls and boys. Girls are timid, boys are adventurous. It was fun and we all laughed together.
That’s when I realized that there were very few facts in this story and everything else was just a made-up story. In my coaching practice this is a skill that I teach all of my clients. We all have stories that we tell ourselves, and the stories are usually made up of a few facts – and then what we think about those facts. From my story you can see that I imagined some things were playful and funny, but on the other hand, some details were absolutely not true or accurate. Like the story about girls being timid and boys being adventurous. This is a cultural norm that I grew up with, and it isn’t true, but if I believed it, I would run my interactions with boys and girls or men and women through that filter.
We all have thoughts about the events that we experience, and some of them are not true and can actually hurt us. I’ve always been a storyteller and now that I am a life coach, I can help you tell your story too. I can help you recognize, discover and get rid of stories that don’t help you become the woman that God has in mind for you to become. I can help you recognize the turning points in your life and re-frame them to help you see how your life has molded you into the person you are today.
If you would like to do a little personal coaching with me, I can help you discover some of the stories you hold onto that do not benefit your life. At the same time you can actually decide what your life story will be going forward.
Click on the link below and get more information about my $149 program:
I would love to work with you and demonstrate how life coaching can help you live your life with more joy and purpose.